1. Ask a Ph.D. student when his/her dissertation will be done*
2. Tell someone they look tired, then suggest they get some sleep
3. Ask a woman who has not directly told you that she is currently pregnant when she is due**
4. Make enemies with the IT Department
5. Make a pretty woman your wife
6. Ask any student what his/her plans are after graduation
7. Start any sentence with “Well, in today’s economy”
8. Park over the line that clearly marks where one space ends and another begins
9. Mess around with Slim
10. Take libraries and librarians for granted

*It is also inadvisable to ask a Master’s student when he/she will graduate.  Basically, you shouldn’t ask graduate students any questions at all, except: 1) would you like free beer? 2) can I return those to the library for you? or 3) tell me about your work – but ONLY do this last one if they are CLEARLY FISHING for you to ask them about their work – otherwise you may face wrath, tears, or a complete nervous breakdown.

**It is also unacceptable to say “maybe you’re pregnant” to any female exhibiting flu-like symptoms.  Sometimes the flu is just the flu.

**BONUS – Don’t be this guy**