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basically because nothing is happening.  I know my blog isn’t uber exciting in the first place, but NOTHING IS HAPPENING.  I have not been amused by anything that has popped up in my Google News (I’ve really tried to find the funny, then realized that I shouldn’t force the funny that much.)

Basically, these are the things I’ve been telling my friends about this week (poor souls):

  1. My inability to sleep at night
  2. My trip to the grocery store where everyone was (uncharacteristically) wholly obnoxious
    • Don’t tell me it’s hard to cut my meat the way I want it. Seriously? It’s your job to cut meat, and if you have one customer during the day that wants their meat cut the hard way, well, then that’s just your big challenge of the day. I know this sounds horribly mean, but you all have no idea how much grief I have received from deli staff. One lady in Maryland told me (with oh so much scorn) that the way I eat my ham is like baby food. Wow, seriously? The way I eat my ham is like awesome. Plus, it’s the way I’ve been eating ham all my life. I have been to the grocery store nine zillion times with my mother. She always gets her ham chipped (although apparently it’s really shaved so says the mean lady at my grocery store although I called a trusted butcher shop and they seemed to agree with the shaved, but again, my mother always said chipped to the deli folk). It was never a problem at home. This might sound dumb, but every time I order lunch meat I have to prepare myself for a debate with the deli staff. Ridiculous.
    • My checkout lady (in the ridiculous plastic necklace that I hope a kid gave her and she wears out of love and loyalty) took my canvas bags and put them down in the bagging area when the groceries of the Den Mother in front of me were reaching the end of the belt. I said, “Oh, ma’am? Ma’am, those are my bags.” She glares at me over her glasses, OVER HER GLASSES, and says in the most “holy-crap-you-obnoxious-pain-in-the-ass-how-dare-you-question-me?” tone, “I know.” That’s it. There are a good half-dozen alternatives that would have been good customer service, but she opted for the condescending snark. Then she went through the whole routine with the Den Mother – wherein the checkout person asks you if you need ice or stamps. Den Mother leaves, I’m up. I need ice. I waited to see if she would ask me if I need ice, or again, make a customer service shortcut as she’s already over-the-glasses peered at me. She didn’t ask me if I wanted ice. I told her I wanted ice, she made me repeat myself. I asked her if the ice was over there (point) and she just icy stared at me. Me (again): “do I get the ice from over there?” I’ve never bought ice there before and yes, it’s by the door, but there is also always a giant display in front of it. She was a meanie pants, and that was totally uncool.
    • The funny/best part of this, is back in the last place I lived, this would have been a great grocery store experience. As no one yelled at me, or pushed my cart, or glared at me when I brought canvas bags (then put them in plastic anyway THEN in my canvas bags, but I have higher expectations for service now.
    • I went back today and interacted with the cheese people who are really amazing, and they know everything, and once, I saw the short-haired lady open a box of crackers to give a sample to a shopper who was having a hard time choosing the best crackers for her cheese. I got a sample of their three new cheese (BEECHERS!). I sneezed and another shopper blessed me. I got free milk. The girl that helps you find the best checkout line helped me find batteries. There was no line at the checkout. The diet rootbeer was back. It was fantastic.
  3. How exciting I find the Shiner Family Reunion Twelve Pack. I’d never had Kosmos!
  4. That’s really it . . . so, yeah. It’s been like 102 everyday, so I’m not so into the activities right now. So lame.

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I love the suggested links in GMail, although I also find them a bit terrifying.

I love the suggested links in GMail, although I also find them a bit terrifying.

I prefer to let singer/songwriters apologize for me.

Sorry songs:

1) Sorry I Am – Ani DiFranco

  • I guess I never loved you quite as well as the way you loved me I guess I’ll never really be able to tell you how sorry I am.

See, now that doesn’t seem like a NICE apology.  It’s an apology that makes the apologizee hurt just a bit more.  Hey, so yeah I’m sorry that I didn’t really ever love you enough, even though you were TOTALLY into me, my bad.

There are TONS of Ani songs about apologies.  How many can YOU name?

2) We’re Both So Sorry – Mirah

Here is another one that is not REALLY an apology

  • And hey I’m sorry ’bout so much baby but I know you’ll understand
    I’m sorry ’bout so much baby but I know you’ll understand

    So, yeah, I’m sorry and all, but really, you get it, so I’m justifying my actions WITHIN THE APOLOGY.  Nice, Mirah!  That takes chutzpah.

  • How can I ever apologize? I meant you no such harm I never knew I could possess that fatal kind of charm. This one is soooo good.  It’s in the same vein as the Ani one.  Whoa, I’m so sorry that you are so into me, I don’t know what to do about it, I mean how can I contain this awesomeness?

3) All Apologies – Nirvana

I can’t ignore this one; it would be traitorous to my alternateen soul.

  • I wish I was like you, Easily amused
  • Ok, that’s not nice.

  • Find my nest of salt
    Everything is my fault
    I’ll take all the blame
    Aqua seafoam shame
    Sunburn with freezeburn
    Choking on the ashes of her enemy

Ok, so that has a hint of sincerity I guess but more hyperbole and Oh (poor) Me ness.  Then it says some stuff that must be all poetic cause I don’t get it.  This is why I focused on the Pumpkins and not Nirvana.

Speaking of . . .

4) Transformer – The Smashing Pumpkins

  • she’s not sorry she’s happy

Oh, hey, maybe GMail is right about me, cause I don’t know if you noticed, but none of those were really apologies . . .

I guess I just live a clean life free of regrets.  🙂

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